Two Is Better Than One
by xXACCEBXx
Summary: Melanie is diabolical. One set of handcuffs, one dork, and possibly...one unsolved murder. FUN SEDDIE.


**Okay, so I've noticed that of all the Seddie oneshots I've been posting, most of them have been from Freddie's POV. Now, I've always been able to get guy logic better, which pretty much accounts for this. But since I am a girl, I should probably try to understand that logic as well. So this one is going to be from the extremely complicated mind of Sam.**

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**Two Is Better Than One**

"Have you ever considered dating Freddie?" she asked. The first time she'd asked me that, I'd gotten flustered, but I'd heard it so often by now that it didn't faze me.

I took another sip of my smoothie, which Mel was going to end up paying for when this tedious conversation was over.

"Oh Mel, I will never be that desperate. Besides, Fredward and I are totally platonic."

"Platonic, huh? I've found that if you have to use the word "platonic" to describe your best guy friend, you are harboring more than friendly feelings for him," she said, smiling that toothy smile that I hate.

"The definition of the word platonic is that I DON'T harbor "more that friendly feelings" for him. What is the point of the word if your backwards logic turns it into the opposite of what it means?"

"Oh, hon. It's just another word health teachers made up to make you feel even more uncomfortable about having a giant penis on the wall."

"What do they teach you at that overpriced boarding school? At our school, they use dolls…"

"Dolls?" she asked, before shaking it away. "Anyway, back to you and Freddie. What are you guys waiting for? This is your last summer of high school. If you wait much longer, you'll start receiving Social Security."

I slammed my hands on the table and leaned toward her. The flash of fear amused me; until she remembered the restrictions my mother had made and smirked. We both knew I couldn't hit her. Mom would kill me. But that didn't mean I had to back down.

"Pla-ton-ic," I enunciated, trying to get my point across.

I had to back down when she leaned toward me threateningly, "Li-ar."

"How would you even know? You and I haven't seen each other in months, and you've only met Freddie for what, twenty minutes?" I said, leaning my back against the chair.

"Has it ever occurred to you that "platonic" friends don't kiss?" She said, her smirk growing. I could only imagine what kind of face I was making.

"Me? Kiss…him? Psh…" I tried halfheartedly. Mel was not the kind to bring this stuff up without some proof. Instead I asked, "How could you possibly know that?"

"He told me," she said in that overconfident way I hated. I was thinking of ways to kill him before she added, "Oh, stop thinking of ways to kill the poor boy. He didn't know what was happening. I doubt he even knows he said it."

"Said what, exactly?" I said, curious to how he described the whole affair. He'd never said a word about it to me since that night.

She cleared her throat obnoxiously before saying, much too loud for the Groovy Smoothie, "He said, and I quote "You said we'd never do that again!" Come to think of it, he still thought I was you."

"He still doesn't think it was you. Once again, thank you for making him think I kissed him TWICE!"

"Oh, and I'm sure he hated it. Just like you hate him thinking it, right? And don't say you do, because you let him think I didn't exist, after he told you I kissed him."

"That was just so he could think he was right!" I said, before noticing her smirk reaching a new high. "What are you reading into that Dr. Philthy?"

"Sam, we've known each other since conception, and you still have never let me win an argument. If you let Freddie win, you must like him a lot."

I opened my mouth to rebuke her, hoping whatever came out would sound half-intelligent, since I really didn't have a comeback in mind, but I was saved by the ringing of my phone.

Let me ask my friends, what is more suspicious? Saying nothing, or letting your ringtone speak for you?

_Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
Maybe two is better than one  
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life  
And you've already got me coming undone…_

"Sam…who did you assign that ringtone to?" she said, trying to catch a peek at my screen from across the table.

"Mel, nobody assigns ringtones anymore. Maybe I just like the song…" I said. I looked at the screen and checked the number, even though I knew who it was. I had totally assigned him that ringtone.

"Then why did it play 'We Are Family' when mom called earlier?"

I scoffed at her without answering and proceeded to read the message: **My mother is making dinner and the whole house smells like ham. Totally makes me think of you.**

"Oh yeah, that's totally Freddie," Mel said, reaching for the phone before I moved my hand. I tried to hide the smile that was creeping up my face, but it was almost impossible. I knew I should delete the message to keep her from reading it, but as my thumb hovered over the DELETE button, I couldn't force myself to hit it.

Instead, I quickly wrote back: **Hmm…save me some leftovers. Thanks for thinking of me :)**

Before I sent the message, I stared at the last part. Would that be too weird to say? I thought of asking Mel, but knew I'd pay for it as soon as I said it. I mentally shrugged before sending it and setting my phone on the tabletop.

"Hey Sam, can you throw this away for me?" she said, handing me her cup. I thought to tell her no, but she'd paid for mine. What can I say? I had a moment of generosity. They don't happen often.

When I got back to the table, my phone was gone. I looked up at Mel, who was smiling innocently. I of all people knew that act.

"Melanie, where is my cell phone?" I said, my fists clenched at my sides.

"Sam, you put it your purse, don't you remember?" she said, with the slightest lying lilt to her voice.

_No, I do not remember. I don't remember because I didn't. _I was tempted to say. Instead, I sat down and made an 'Oh, silly me!' face, before pulling the phone out of my purse.

It looked the same. I looked at my Sent file, knowing that she had probably already cleared the evidence, which she had. What had she done?

I tried to pretend nothing had happened, tried not to acknowledge that she'd done something that would probably mortify me later. At one point, she went to the bathroom and I searched my phone for evidence of whatever mischief she'd gotten into.

I was still trying to find it when I heard a click behind me. Most people wouldn't know what that click meant, but I've been in quite a few…mishaps…and I knew exactly what it was.

"Melanie, what are you doing with handcuffs?" I said through clenched teeth.

"I found them in one of your drawers. Oh, you mean what am I doing with them NOW? I'm making you do something that you'll thank me for later." **(A/N: I'm sorry this whole quote sounds dirty…okay, not really ;D)**

She went around the table and sat down while I struggled to undo the cuff on my left wrist that she'd attached to the back of my chair without causing a scene. She crossed her arms and smirked dangerously.

"How much later will I be thanking you? At your funeral? 'Cuz it's not that far off at this point…"

"Oh Sam, this can all be over quickly. Just admit you like Freddie…"

"But I don't!" I stressed, as my wrist began to chafe.

"Come on Sam…"

I stared at her for a moment, before groaning, "Fine! I like Freddie! Now let me out of these things!"

"Haha, admitting is the first step. And, I would totally let you out, but you didn't let me finish…" I could feel my stomach drop. And people think I'm evil…

I had a Twilight Zone moment as I heard the bell over the door ring. Oh crap. I saw his dark brown eyes search the room, obviously looking for me. His eyes met mine before he noticed Melanie. I could see his brain reeling as she turned around. She turned back with an even bigger smirk on her face, before getting up and leaning down to hug me.

She hovered next to my ear and whispered, "Just admit TO FREDDIE that you like him."

"You are going to die," I muttered so only she could hear, struggling even harder against my restraints. "You are going to go to sleep tonight, and wake up in hell, because that's where you belong for this…"

I could see Freddie coming toward me slowly, as Mel said in a singsong voice, "You'll thank me laaaterrrr!"

She waved to Freddie on her way out, and I almost laughed at the shock on his face when he looked from her to me. But then I remembered why he was here. Crap.

He looked at me, and did a double take toward Mel before turning back to me, "Was that…?"

I nodded, "My clone, she escaped again. Hot damn."

He rolled his eyes and sat down across from me, yelling out his order toward the counter. While he was distracted, I continued to struggle with the handcuffs, but they wouldn't budge.

He looked over and noticed my struggle, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I lied transparently.

He got up and circled the table like a vulture, smirking the whole way. I tried to conceal the cuffs with my free hand, but it was no use. He started to laugh when he saw.

"Oh shut up, just help me out of them," I muttered. He looked at me, as if he were deciding whether or not to help me. But he knew perfectly well that if he didn't, I would use my free hand to castrate him with a blender.

"Fine," he surrendered as he knelt down behind me to try to unlatch the cuffs. "What did you do to her anyway? This seems like something…you would do."

"It's like we share a brain, though hers is more diabolical. She actually thinks about these things," I groaned, trying not to struggle as his fingers moved along my wrists.

"Do you have a bobby pin?" he asked, and I handed him one from behind my ear. "You didn't answer me. Why would she cuff you to a chair?"

"Nothing you need to know about dweeb," I said, starting to struggle again.

He leaned over so I could see his face, "Considering I'm the only thing keeping you from sleeping sitting up for a few weeks, you probably shouldn't be calling me a dweeb."

"Fine, dweebette," I smiled, but when I felt his hands leave my wrists, I uttered, "Fredward."

"That's better!" he said sarcastically, but I felt him feeling around for the lock with the bobby pin. "So, is this the emergency you texted me for?"

"Huh?" I asked before realizing, "Oh, I'm sorry, Mel stole my phone."

"I guess she wanted somebody to eventually get you out of these things," he said, popping the latch. "But why me?"

"You must have been the last one to text me," I lied quickly, rubbing my sore wrists. "Remember, you were telling me about your mom's ham. I still expect some of that by the way."

But he saw right through me. He sat down across from me with his arms crossed, biting the inside of his cheek. I didn't know how much he knew, but he knew something was up.

"You never answered me," he said, taking a sip of the smoothie that had arrived while we'd been struggling with the handcuffs. I was suddenly a hell of a lot thirstier then I'd been only seconds ago, and as soon as his cup hit the table, I picked it up and took a sip. He just shook his head.

"You will have to tell me eventually you know," he said, with just a little too much attitude for my taste, and I stood up.

"Not really," I took a step toward the door and he grabbed my wrist.

"I'm sorry. Don't go, please. Come on, can't we just talk? We never talk," I was suspicious, but certain feelings were overriding my fight or flight instinct. I sat back down and scooted my chair just a little closer to him.

"We don't talk because we never have anything to talk about," I reminded him. In truth it was because I never let my walls down enough for him to peek over, but he already knew that. Saying it would be redundant.

"Well, how about your sister? Why is she in town?" he asked, trying to make conversation where there was none.

"She…" I tried to remember, before laughing. "You know, I can't remember. I know my mom mentioned it, but I think it was while I had headphones in or something. The point is, next to Miss Perfect, she doesn't even remember I exist."

"Oh, come on. That's not true. You're as much her daughter as Melanie is," he tried to reassure me.

"True, but trust me, I've been a thorn in her side since conception. And for those first ninth months, I mean it literally," I smirked at my own joke before shrugging. "But come on, Melanie's perfect. I can't compete with that. Hell, even a dork like you picked her over me."

I tried not to show my hurt at the last statement, and he tried to console me, "That's not true! I thought she was you!" he caught his allusion and added, "What I'm trying to say is…you're perfect, and if your mom can't see that, it's her loss."

"Oh," I whispered, unsure of what to say. Fredward Benson just called me perfect. Damn the butterflies in my stomach.

What followed could be called an awkward silence, sexual tension, the calm before the storm. There were many descriptions for those few seconds. There was only one for the next. Sabotage.

_Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
Maybe two—_

I grabbed my phone quickly, blushing, before another word could be sung.

"Why are you texting me?" I asked, knowing he was the only one with that ringtone.

He stared at me for a second, and I could see the gears moving, "I…didn't."

I looked at the screen. **Haha, totally right. Did u kno there's a service that CHANGES ur #? Clever, huh? Luv Mel ;]**

By now, even my ears were turning red. I was about to become an only child.

"Sam…" he started, and reached for my hand across the table, but I snatched it away.

"I'm sorry. I have…things to do." I said, knowing it was transparent. I crossed the room in three strides and was out the door before he could even react.

I'd only gone a few steps out the door before he caught me. I spun around, and he caught my eyes. I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to.

"Oh no, you're not leaving that easy. I need some questions answered. Why did Melanie handcuff you to a chair? And, why did she text me? And…" he hesitated. "Why is that your ringtone?"

I avoided his eyes, but I knew I had to tell him. Damn Carly for letting him in on the full disclosure agreement.

"I-I like you," I stuttered, raising my eyes from the ground to see his reaction before dropping them again. "Melanie had a suspicion, and she wanted me to admit it to myself, her…you…which pretty much accounts for the first two questions. The ringtone is just…wishful thinking, I guess."

It felt like there was a weight lifted off my shoulders, but I waited for him to respond, and he didn't, "Please say something."

He seemed to have gotten distracted, but caught my eyes as I spoke again. He tried to stay serious, but a smirk stayed on his lips as he took a step closer, knowing I was frozen where I stood.

"Maybe it's true that I can't live without you, maybe two is better than one…huh?"

Without waiting for an answer, he cupped my cheek with his soft hand, and captured my lips with his. I was blissfully unaware of anything else in the world, until I heard the telltale clicking sound.

"I so glad you two finally learned to count," I heard a voice eerily similar to my own whisper, before the skittering of running footsteps hit my ears.

I broke away and looked up to see a flash of blonde dart around the corner, and instinctually ran toward her, but Freddie stayed firm and pulled me back. I opened my mouth to object, but he stopped me.

"It's not worth it…" he said in a singsong voice.

I objected again, "Tell me one thing that would be better than killing my sister!"

"Well, I could think of a few actually," he said, before he leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth. I smiled.

"I'm hoping at least one of those ideas includes your mother's ham."

He laughed, and nodded, his eyes never leaving mine, "It's all yours."

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**That is true sisterly affection, isn't it? Haha, I don't have a sister, but I'm pretty sure this would fall into the 'good' category. Ahh…handcuffs. Alright that's enough. Please review!**


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